Archive for: November, 2013

CPR White vs. Magic (again, state cup) – 11/10/2013

Nov 13 2013 Published by under Womens Whites

Rough start to a pretty good game. Unbeknownst to CPR, kickoff was moved from 3:00pm to 2:15pm to take advantage of the light hours and too put it lightly, Magic was not happy – eek! Unfortunately CPR is not really a “show up early to warm up” kind of team so the game started at 3:00 as originally planned. Magic scored early but Anne Drames put one away in the second half to tie it up. Both sides had plenty of chances, but the end result was a 1-2 loss for CPR. Let’s be honest though, we’re just happy Magic didn’t make us take our pants off this time. Feels like a win.

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Clobbering time: CPR Legends finally get amongst the goals against RTG

Nov 11 2013 Published by under Legends

Defensively this season the Legends have been virtually impregnable with 5 shut outs in 8 games.  The issue has been with taking advantage of the myriad opportunities created, especially with Gottschee more than doubling the number of goals scored by CPR.  With the league likely to come down to a fine margin, it was time for the Legends to step up against the bottom team and repeatedly trouble the score sheet.

CPR had finally run out of luck with regards to the magic roundabout of goalies, with Faherty drawing the short straw for the game.  However a strong squad overall gave the Legends confidence that they had a solid enough foundation from which to launch, and so it was as fairly early on a cross from the rampant Muro from the right side saw Venkataraman’s shot blocked to the open Jee, who calmly buried his shot for a lead that would never be relinquished.  Soon after Street took what appeared to be a shot but in reality was more of a 25 foot putt on the 18th green.  For reasons known only to him, the opposition goalie watched the ball gently trickle 18 inches from him into the goal, a misjudgment of monumental proportions that essentially ended the contest.  A rare foray upfield from RTG resulted in a corner, but this just led to more heartbreak as Faherty gathered up the ball and launched a counter attack straight to Street, who in turn found Stephan in plenty of space.  Although he had all the time in the world, those are sometimes the most dangerous of times, but Stephan managed to clinically open his account for CPR with a low shot to the left of the keeper.

Nobody is saying Pritchard hasn’t felt a lot of contact in the box, but Greg Louganis called and asked for some form tips











The half time chat basically consisted of urging the Legends to continue doing what they were doing.  Unfortunately sportsmanship was the casualty, given the need for the Legends to decrease the yawning goal difference deficit.  The referee took it upon himself to treat the game like he was the kindly father officiating a children’s game, as blatant foul after blatant foul in the penalty box by RTG resulted in nothing more than a smile and a shrug due to the score differential.  This predictably resulted in Legends complaining and the opposition not taking too kindly to it.  Fortunately things didn’t get out of hand, and finally after a foul so egregious that even this referee couldn’t do anything but blow the whistle the Legends had their penalty, and Resnik continued his hot streak from the spot by blasting the ball through the keeper.  The Legends had continued to score before then, Muro blasting a ball through the Keeper, Jee with a lovely long range effort and Pritchard scrambling one through as well.

At the crowded pub the Legends discussed the need to be more clinical in front of goal, but nothing could diminish some very good attacking moments along with the defence continuing its solid ways.  As the players become more and more accustomed to playing together the goals should continue to come, and the flexibility in the squad should further help the good results continue.

One wondered exactly what it was going to take for the Legends to finally get a penalty called in their favour after all fouls in the box.

Competition: RTG SC, League Opposition

Location: Randall’s Island #74, Randall’s Island

Conditions: Early morning chill morphed into lovely warm morning

Fans: Mr. Muro Senior

Result: 7-0 (3-0 at H/T)

Goals:  1:0 Jee Assist Venkataraman

2:0 Street Assist Ochoa (and opposition goalie)

3:0 Stephan Assists Street/Faherty

4:0 Muro Assist Jee

5:0 Jee Assist Pritchard

6:0 Pritchard Assist O’Connell

7:0 Resnik (pen) Assist Jee

Yellow Cards: None for a change.  A mildly physical game and assorted banter, but nothing major

Red Card: None.

Mike D’s aka No Shows: None

Conboy’s aka Reverse Mike D’s: None

”Mr. Glass” Fragility/Old Man Injury Award: As Murray’s pints increased, his description of having his  meat & two veg squashed by the ball transitioned from being hit in the corner of the pitch to somehow heroically saving the shut out by saving what would have been a remarkable goal.

Lars, we get it, you stopped a ball with your naughty bits. That does not count as somehow wielding your weapons to make a miraculous goal line save




Old Man of the Match: A tremendous team effort that really should have seen more goals.  The defence didn’t provide a sniff of a chance to the opposition, but despite their impregnable display the choice of award came down to two players, with Street narrowly edging out the prolific Jee.

Old Man of the Bar: A decent showing but nobody outstanding enough.

El Presidente (new award for Old Men who don’t make it to game but come to the bar): Pete Hahn strolled in to watch his Gunners come up short against ManUre.

Team Bar Showing: 12 out of 14 (86%)

Team Bar Night:  4.25 out of 5: It’s a rare day that you can bring virtually everyone back to the pub, but this was such a day.  With ManUre vs Arsenal there was added incentive for people to stay for a couple of hours.

Team (No new profiles this week): Drew Faherty (GK), Mark Resnik (DF), Steve Teesdale (DF), Luciano Belizan (DF), Dan Bernoske (DF), Lars Murray (DF), Dan Ochoa, Chris Muro, Steve O’Connell, Sean Street, Chris Jee, Manohar Venkataraman, Paul Stephan, Steve Pritchard

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Nov 11 2013 Published by under Whites

CPR whites returned to cup action as we faced a tough Lansdowne side that boasted a few international players, reflecting their solid record to the start of the season. With our return to turf meant we get back to our passing game and gave our opponents a much needed challenge.
We started off well with some great defensive work as the team dealt with Lansdowne’s fast paced attack. Lansdowne labored to make any impression on a well-drilled CPR defense that effectively smothered any attempts at creativity by the away side. Justin was subbed in the first half due to injury but that didn’t deter our back line from shutting down flight A league leaders.
Moments after, Kwesi was put through by Edgar on the edge of the area as his left footed shot was well wide. Shortly after a Lansdowne striker shanked over from 6 yards, Even possession from both teams deemed sterile as the first half came to an end.
Second half looked promising as Burrito was found clinically in the six yard box from a coolly dispatched ball from Paul. His one touch lay off pass found Kwesi on the edge of the area as he placed the ball far post only to be denied by the wood work. Moments later, a terrible back pass from the Lansdowne defense saw Mike knick the ball past the on rushing goalie, and just like Kwesi, was denied by the wood work yet again.
After about 25 minutes into the second half, Lansdowne took the lead from a low shot to the bottom corner of the post as we failed to clear the ball from the box. Tactical changes from the gaffer meant we pushed more men up to go level. To affirm they advance to the next stage, a well worked Lansdowne counter on the right side saw the ball squared into the six yard area and was tapped in for a 2-0 lead as CPR pushed for the equalizer.
Overall, it was a hard fought loss and but a lot of positives to take out from the game. Let’s bounce back right away with a win against another green and white striped team.
Line up: Ben L, Justin, Nick, Matt, Paul, Mike, Eli, Edgar, Josh, Riso, Kwesi. Subs: Ruben, Ben H, Carlos

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Results from Nov 10th

Nov 11 2013 Published by under Club

Womens White lost 2-1 to NY Magic Reserves (State Cup)

Mens White lost 2-0 to Lansdowne Bhoys (Manning Cup)

Mens White Reserves lost 4-1 to NY Greek American Reserve (D’Arpino Cup)   (match report)

Mens Red @ Dynamo SC, game needs to be rescheduled as the ref didn’t show (Strumpf Cup)

Mens Black lost 2-5 to Mr. Dennehy’s FC (Strumpf Cup)

The Legends shutout RTG, 7-0

Womens Red, The Grays & The Old Boys had the weekend off

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No Longer the Kings of Queens

Nov 11 2013 Published by under Whites

CPR Whites Reserves returned to the former holy grail, Met Oval, on a cold windy Sunday night with hopes of re-staking their claim to one of New York’s fines patches of (fake) grass against the Greeks.

Unfortunately, the script didn’t follow suit.  Despite a lively start to the game, which could have seen CPR up 2-0, some poor referring saw a penalty shout denied and an off-side goal ruled out.  The battle continued and unfortunately the windy conditions caught our defense-men out and CPR conceded two goals in a short period of time to go into half-time seriously deflated.  Despite a positive and collegiate team talk, led by stand-in Gaffer Mike Coons, CPR failed to really get going in the second half.  Shortly after the break, the Greeks buried another chance after some good movement saw CPR lose its shape. This was followed quickly by another and then Devin pulled a consolation goal back for the team with a ferocious strike across the goal box.

Unfortunately, the referee continued to have his way in this game, proceeding to book pretty much the entire CPR team, and sending Mike D off for the overly offensive comment “wow, I like this new rule”.  Apparently sarcasm warrants red cards in the “modern game”.

Despite the poor showing, a few positives came out of the night.  The reserves gave a debut to the Israeli sensation Tomer aka Ronny Rosenthal, Andy Ma’s hair stayed out of his eyes thanks to his ever-masculine Lululemon headband and Brian, despite his ever tender appearance, so managed to baffle the referee post-game with an explanation of the word “incite”, that he managed to get him self booked post game.
The game finished 4-1 to the home-team, leaving the CPR Whites Reserves with nothing but the knowledge that Brooklyn is the new Queens…
Team: Jon, Dan C, Mike D, Andy, Greg, Mike C, Devin, Ilkka, Alex, Norelli, Brian, Tomer

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Nov 10 2013 Published by under Whites

Only a week removed from toppling a previously undefeated NYAC side, CPR firsts were in good spirits making their way out to the middle of nowhere to face an unpredictable and potentially dangerous NY Croatia lineup. However, owing to several factors beyond the teams control the lads returned to civilization with only a point in the bag. In the first half, we came out in a 4-4-1-1 with our midfield doing well to try and control possession and move the ball around despite the tough surface, which played perfectly into the kick and run rubbish strategy of the opponent. Despite some threatening moves and individual attacking displays from Kwesi, we went into the half at 0-0, with neither side able to move in on goal. The opposition threw several big lads in their defense making it tough to go over the top, and seemed content to use the rough nature of their field in breaking up our offense on the ground.  The boys stayed positive at half-time, in the face of horrendously inconsistent referees, and seemed resolved to steal all 3 points from the defensive Croatians, who were desperate to leave their camp site with a point.

Interesting conversation ensued during the break between the officiating crew and our manager in what was presumably an attempt to quickly explain the rules of football to the referees ahead of the 2nd half. The second 45mins saw some more open play, with the Rangers attempting to craft several routes to goal through our dangerous attacking players in Riso, Eli, Kwesi and Edgar will all coming close to breaking the deadlock at various points throughout the half. The Croatians were attempting to get forward themselves, mounting several futile attempts on our back four. The most dangerous of which led to a tough knock/brief concussion on Josh as he bravely laid out to block service from the wide area. He was carted off and replaced with a strong effort from Ruben off the bench. Despite an injection of physicality and skill from Carlos off the bench, CPR couldn’t break down the Croatians, and as tempers flared on both sides against the incompetency of the officiating crew, the final whistle sounded only 1 minute after the allotted 45.

Despite 3 substitutions and several minutes of Josh being down, the 3 officials could not see fit to add more than what seemed like a couple seconds of injury time, and ended the match hastily. In addition to showing a poor grasp of the rules of the game, the man in the middle showed an equally poor understanding of the English language, mistaking a frustrated comment from Conor as “abusive language” and issuing our captain a red card.

TEAM: Ben, Conor, Matt, Nick, Mike N, Kwesi, Justin, Riso, Josh, Eli, Edgar. Subs: Ruben, Carlos, Ben H

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Old Boys Grind Out 2-1 Win vs. Niew Amsterdam

Nov 07 2013 Published by under OldBoys

The great Danny Blanchflower once said:

“The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It is nothing of the kind. The game is about glory, it is about doing things in style and with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom”.

This quote has been echoed by footballing purists throughout pubs and bars across the world since the opinion was first aired in the early 1960’s. Whilst this in an opinion I have always harbored, a new light came to mind as the doors of Central Bar closed behind me on Sunday afternoon. Sometimes the game is about going out there and doing the dirty work. Getting stuck in with your mates, and pulling together as a team. Getting ugly when you need to, and standing up and being counted for when the going gets tough. But more than anything else, it’s about killing a few pints after the match with three points in your back pocket and being able to laugh at those failed attempts for idealism.

The 9am Kick-off and New York marathon meant early rises for the Old Boys squad. 6am starts and redirected journeys for all those who didn’t meander across the footbridge to field #83. Hakans Jazz-wagon took a wide venture through the Hamptons, Montauk, and back up through Queens, but still the squad was fifteen strong by the time KO came around. The same could not be said for the opposition who managed a meek starting lineup of nine, to embrace the wind swept conditions.
With nine vs eleven, the game started as you may imagine with the Old Boys dominating possession and Neiw Amsterdam on the back foot. The ball found its way to both wings frequently as Amsterdam packed their penalty box with numbers to stem the advancing Old Boys. Andy Jones quickly felt the taste of the rugged defending as he was callously scythed to the ground, just managing to defy gravity long enough to hold a quick planking pose for the cameras, before audibly hitting the ground. It wasn’t Andy’s only moment on the turf either, as witnessed by the manager Rolling Mick Morse, and the amused subs bench. For only moments later, Mr Jones was also floored by a freak gust of wind that had him sat bewildered on the ground once more. We all saw mate. We all saw.
The match continued in heavy CPR pressure, finally paid off as Stower made a lightening run down the left flank, and before the ball had even found its way into the box, Engler was bought to the ground via an off-the-ball body check.

Cue the Goalhammer.

Calls of “Von Goalhammer” were heard from goalmouth and touchline as the man with ice in his veins picked up the ball, placed it on the spot, and positioned his run up from just outside the penalty area. The referee blew the whistle and all held their breath. All it is bar one nameless spectator with a notably cynical Birmingham accent, who was heard quietly mumbling “I kind of hope he misses”. Skeptic, pessimist, and stepover extraordinaire. I shall say no more.

Nevertheless the goalkeeper was sent the wrong way, and the Goalhammer struck no.5 for the season coolly into the lower right corner.

CPR kept the momentum and were soon two for the good as Creighton tucked the ball away calmly for the second week in a row.

Neiw Amsterdam who had started with nine men were quickly restored to eleven and made the added numbers count. The tricky no.13 winger picked the ball up wide before commencing on a mazy run and releasing a dipping curling shot from the edge of the box, also known as the classic Sensible Soccer finish.

The buoyant opposition now had the momentum and the game became a midfield aerial battle. High balls launched for the flick on from which both sets on center backs were tested in their ability to soak up the attack. It was at this time when Chris Williams, a man always alert to sniffing out disaster before it emerges decided to embrace the Armageddonand did what all men of honor do under such circumstances. No fucking around. The trousers came off.

The loss of Chris’s trousers seemed to rally the Old Boys and Von Goalhammer had the ball in the back of the net again before the break, only for the referee to call wrongly offside and not for the first time that day. Shortly after Hollins struck the crossbar, and Becker had to be alert to keep a shot out at the near post.
The halftime team talk was matter-of-fact and gritty. Stick to your guns and win the hard way. Solemn, stern, and to the point. The stark mood wasn’t helped by the departure of Bill ‘the Don’ Marsillo, but when a restaurant on Mott St. forgets to pay its protection money, it doesn’t matter what time of day it is or where you are. Business is business. We understand Bill, we’ve seen the Sopranos.

The second half can be summarized as follows:
- Edmunds invented a new way of heading the ball: The Buddha (the Buddha consists of crouching to your lowest possible standing height, and then launching yourself like a spring the moment the ball has passed your head).
- Kass mowed down the opposition winger with frightening frequency.
- The referee demonstrated that the offside rule is yet to gain popularity in Russia.
- Becker in a spike of temporary dementia thought he was Gianluigi Buffon in Serie A, and spent 25 minutes dribbling the ball into the corner of his area ‘time wasting’.
- A record number of yellow cards were recorded that did not directly relate to fouls.
- Creighton swore. YES, Creighton swears.
- We won. My god we won ugly. But we won.

And so to Central Bar (minus the kits).

Something was wrong the moment we stepped into the bar. A misdemeanor of incredible fluke had occurred somewhere within the astral plane that could not be easily quantified. As the Old Boys and Legends embraced to relay the morning’s events, the inconceivable became apparent. With all the probability of watching the panoramic scenery of the Northern Lights from the depth of a Moroccan wine cellar, Manny had scored the winning goal.

If you had not been in Lower Manhattan on Sunday, if you were not one of the 500,000 runners cornered as they passed back via Central Park, if you had more sense than to remain seated as Manny happened past your table on Sunday with the humble appearance of a peacock in mating season, let me save you 45 minutes of your future drinking time and talk you through the moment.

Something about 17 yards out.
Something about a one-time shot.
Something about a clustered penalty box.
Cue the misty eyes, and facial expression of a prepubescent teenager that has just shot an entire youths worth of bollock yogurt into a leather clad Heidi Klum. I am under no false impression that someone, somewhere, is currently being objected to the step-by-step replay.

Other noted banter from the post match analysis:
Will Sawyer ever reclaim any drinking credit following his demolishment at the hands of Von ‘Jaegermeister’ Goalhammer?
Did he have any credit to begin with?
Beckers epic Breaking Bad costume.
Edmunds amazing Gandalf costume.
Had Edmunds gone naked, would he have made a better Gollum?
Where the feck were the kits?
Can any food be classified more accurately as ‘mediocre’ than that found at Central Bar?

As the author left early, still too frightened to nourish a beer, the epiphany came to light. Sometimes its not about doing it the pretty way. It’s about being a team, getting in the trenches when times are hard, and grinding out those three points. Its ugly but the beer, banter, and great company make it all worthwhile. Nice work fellas.

By David Sawyer

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Reds demolish Dynamo

Nov 07 2013 Published by under Reds

The CPR Reds turned up on Sunday in desperate need of a win. They were sitting at the bottom of the league despite some encouraging performances, but it was time to turn their season around. The Reds assembled pitchside at field 90 on Randalls Island but numbers were looking thin. A bare 11 started the game. One or two of those faces were also defiantly under the influence of a ruckus Saturday night hangover.  

The Reds opponents were Dynamo FC who were also light on numbers, and started the game with only 10 men. They proved to be a physical team with some individually talented players, their center midfielder in particular was pretty tasty, although collectively as a team they showed little cohesion and it wasn’t long until the Reds extra man and fluid passing style opened them up. Chances fell to Hendrick and Declan before Paul hit a shot across the keeper an into the bottom corner of the net to make it 1-0 to the Reds. It wasn’t long until they had a second, when clever footwork from Omar presented him with a shooting opportunity and he drilled in from a tight angle. 2-0 Reds.

Following those early goals the game became annoyingly intermittent with the referee awarding many soft free-kicks and the Reds poorly looking after the ball. Dynamo were gifted several great opportunities from free-kicks with the Reds discipline letting them down. There was also a sense the referee was being a little generous towards Dynamo, due to their disadvantage with numbers and the sense that the Reds could put a cricket score on them. The Reds did finally extend their lead when Hendrick broke down the left. He floated a ball into the box for Matt to head home from 10 yards out, and to cap off the half in style the Reds made it 4-0 just before the break. Iano made a characteristic run from left back and with the Dynamo defense backing off he unleashed a glorious 30 yard strike that flew into the far upper 90. It was by far the goal of the game, possibly the season, and maybe Iano’s career.

The second half began as the first ended, with the Reds much on top. Dynamo only had one game plan which was a long ball over the top, but Eddie Walter put in a man of the match display and was a rock at the back for the Reds. Nothing was beating him. More and more chances fell to the Reds, with De Ruiter upfront guilty of squandering several glorious chances, and the referee making some dubious offside calls. The Dynamo keeper also made some notable saves, turning a goal bound strike from Matt onto the post while at full stretch, and standing big to deny Hendrick and Jonny on several occasions. The Reds did manage to add 2 more. Declan deservedly got onto the scoresheet with a close range effort and Jonny capped off a superb team move to make it 6-0.

The last 10 minutes didn’t all go the Reds way, and numbers were made even when center back Chris received his second yellow card for colliding into the back a Dynamo player inside the Reds box. His first yellow card was incidentally for a typically angry Scottish yell of  “F**! OFF YOU C@#&”. The referee wasn’t impressed, but for comedy value it rates very highly. With Chris giving away the penalty and receiving his marching orders it put keeper Shane in the spotlight, as the ancient Dynamo centerback came forward to take the PK. Shane superbly got down to his left to deny the Dynamo player, who them completely fluffed the rebound wide. A real let off for the Reds, and a chance to keep hold of a first clean sheet of their season.

The game had little to offer in the final moments with it’s fate already decided and the Reds were delighted to hear the whistle sound as they took home a 6-0 deserved win. On another day it could have been 26-0.

Man of the Match – Eddie Walter.

Mares of the Match –     Hendrick (Please find your shooting boots)

                                                Chris (Red card and conceding a penalty. Bad day in the office)

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Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy

Nov 06 2013 Published by under Whites

On a beautiful Sunday (kinda cold for Brazilians) the Central Park Rangers Reserve squad didn’t encounter many obstacles, besides finding the field, to anaialate a Croatian team 9 to 0.

The Davor Šuker team started off with 2 men down and approximately 2 mins into the game Greg opened the score with a weird goal that was deflected a couple times before it went in.  The field that was in better conditions then the last years helped CPR keep the ball “ala Barcelona” and it wasn’t long until Norelli “Brutus” walked in the box 1 on 1 with the goalie and scored the second.  From there on it was just a massacre and although the Croatians brought in another player it was a massacre and the first half ended 5 to 0 with goals by Brutus, Greg and Mike D.

In the second half CPR made some tactical changes from a 4-5-1 to a 4-3-3 “ala Barcelona”.  The changed helped CPR spreading the field and finding a lot of opportunities from the sides, especially with G. Moss through the right side.  It wasn’t long enough that Mike D found another shot from outside the box (when he should’ve passed) that went slowly on the goalie’s right corner.   With Dan C. in the xavi/iniesta/messi role, the forwards kept on getting the ball and Brutus scored a terrific goal after single man handling the defender on the right and blasting the ball on the far lower corner.

Archie came in and displayed his paul scholes sixth sense by dribbling by two defenders and “flipping” the ball over the defender to a perfect pass where Bryan Gracie could finish with a classy volley.  The score was now 8 zero and the Spaniard forward Alberto Sancho Pancho knew he had to score to keep the crowd alive, therefore after receiving a badly passed ball by the opposition he dribbled three defenders and finished calmly on the goalies corner to finish it up.  Dan C. almost scored a goal for the centuries towards the end of the game, with a slick flick over the defender and a first time volley to go wide by inches.

The reality was that the Croatians were doomed since the moment they decided to play that day but its important to highlight that although the weak adversary CPR was able to keep the ball smoothly and create a variety of opportunities that will help build confidence for the rest of the season.  Defense was solid throughout the entire match and the finishing got better.  Great effort and CPR is going for the cup!

Team: Jon, Mike C, Greg, Brian, Andy, Brent, Mike D, Ilkka, Dan C, Ben H, Alberto, Archie, Norelli


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Schedule for Nov 10th

Nov 05 2013 Published by under Club

Womens Red have the weekend off

Womens White @ NY Magic Reserves, 3pm East 6th Street (State Cup)

Mens White vs. Lansdowne Bhoys, 6pm Randalls #75 (Manning Cup)

Mens White Reserves  @ NY Greek American Reserve , 7pm Met Oval (D’Arpino Cup)

Mens Red @ Dynamo SC, 3:30pm Kaiser Park (Strumpf Cup)

Mens Black @ Mr. Dennehy’s FC, 12pm Greenbelt Recreation Center, Staten Island (Strumpf Cup)

The Grays & The Old Boys have the weekend off

The Legends @ RTG, 8am Randalls #74

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