Old Boys Spark Greek American Collapse

Mar 25 2015 Published by under OldBoys

It’s been a long 3 months in football since the Old Boys last donned the famous Red shirt and descended upon Randall’s Island. Harry Redknapp retired due to a dodgy team knee, Pardew swept from Newcastle to Crystal Palace with the discretionary retreat of Ochoa to the Greys, West Ham content in reaching the magic 42pts have begun celebrating this feat a whole 3 months ahead of schedule, it appears Sepp Blatter will finally be ousted from the FIFA presidency, whilst New York City FC began life at Yankee Stadium with a comfortable 2-0 over New England Revolution.

Love it or hate it, football is a game enjoyed as much for its surprise extremities as its relied upon dependencies. And let’s face it, you can always rely on each and every member of the O-30 NY Greek American team to be a stand-up James Blunt. For those of you unfamiliar with the native tongue of Messrs. Stower and Edmunds, please see here: Cockney Translate

The Old Boys dusted off the winter break with an early-bird 8am KO. Having lost the away fixture 1-0 back in September, there were wrongs to be set right. The side had a new look about it having lost Sean Street and Dan Ault to warmer climates, whilst Edmunds and Penrod were AWOL and the Goalhammer was enjoying a ‘happy ending’ to the winter break on the beach in Koh Samui. The team did welcome back Steve Morse from his Legends sabbatical, and new Striker Ernest (or ‘Hemingway’ to his new team mates) was due to make his league debut for the Reds.

CPR had the better of the early engagements. Levy had a shot wide, and then smashed one onto the underside of the crossbar, whilst Hollins had a good long range effort sneak the wrong side of the post. The opposition showed little threat in the early exchanges. The only moment of note, Becker racing from his line to claim a long ball shouting “Keepers!’, leading the defense and attack in his path only for the ball to emerge out of the sun about 15ft away from where the keeper and play had followed. The man For Whom the Bell Tolls entered the fray with 10 minutes to go and proved a useful and physical addition to the CPR front line.

Following halftime, a different opposition emerged. Whether news of the Greek government stopping the production of taramasalata and humus in order to avoid a double dip recession had just broke (oh, come on!), a Yoghurt factory collapsed in the nether regions of long island, or a shipment of party-plates were found to be plastic dupes… Then, not since Stowers return from the CPR Miami soccer tour has any Greek ever looked so angry. Yet alone, 11 of them! Or soon to be 10…

Tackles flew in, punches were thrown, and eleven men flew around the field chasing the ball retained by the CPR midfield like the blind bull of Knossos. Shortly after the Athenian goat herders were reduced to 10, Hem found superior pace against the opposition defense and upon the second time of racing past the stagnant fullback, the ball fell kindly to Matt to tuck the ball away into the net. Game over.

As the poet once said: one angry Cretian doth not a euro-politician make. But in light of the country’s current problems, lets raise a pint of Percy’s finest to Angela Merkel.

–By Dave Sawyer

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