The last few weeks have seen a large 17 contingent at each game, but as usual when it rains it pours.  With multiple injuries and players out of town the Legends appeared to have enough to make do, but a late pullout by ze german Jens Faulhaber reduced the margin for error to 2.  Despite that, the two substitutes looked like a healthy number compared to Barnstonworth who only brought out 11.  As has been a season long issue, the Legends kept composed until they reached the final third, disintegrating into wild shots or aimed squarely at the keeper.  For all their weakness at the back the Rovers did show attacking intent, but this did not manifest itself into too many clearcut opportunities.  The only real chance for either team was when D’Andrea sucked people into his vortex before laying the ball off to Venkataraman at the top of the box, whose shot bounced off the crossbar into the goalie’s grateful hands.

With the Rovers appearing to be in Over 36 game shape the Legends plan was to keep using their substitutes to wear them down, gain a lead and hold it.  This lead was gained remarkably quickly with D’Andrea leading in Morse for a nice finish right at the beginning of the half.  It would seem that the hard work would have been done, but there was too much time left.  First, Nizam went down to an old man calf injury soon to be followed by Telly Vamvouris in goal.  Immediately both substitutes would now be on, and Teesdale being put in goal took away bite from the defence.  Regardless, the equalizer came in shocking fashion as the Rovers central defender ambled 50 yards unmolested before gently placing a shot into the side netting.  The air seeped out of the Legends whose hunger and bite for the game was surprisingly lacking, especially compared to the valiant Barnstonworth who powered through injuries of their own.  Committing more resources to attack, the lead was given up when a speculative shot from 30 yards cleared Teesdale for the game winning goal.  Several scrambles in the Rovers box yielded nothing, an unfortunate pattern whereby the Legends have had a hard time this spring either getting the bounce of the ball or the right ugly finish.  The shots that did occur magnetically attracted themselves directly to the mostly poorly positioned opposition keeper.

A bitter loss, not because of the club rivalry which indeed is merely a glowing ember but more because this was perhaps the poorest Legends display of the season.  The fortunate bounce of the ball and excellent start to the season is now regressing back to the mean, with the runners up position now merely a fond memory.  With 3 games left the hope is that the Legends can finish with a flourish, with no better opponent than Banatul for that in 2 weeks.

Competition: Barnstonworth Rovers, League Opposition

Location: Randall’s Island Field #72, Randall’s Island

Conditions: Brisk spring morning

Fans: 1.5, Simon Mckeown + dog

Result: 1-2

Goals: 1-0: Morse Assist D’Andrea

Yellow Cards: Faherty for a professional take down on the sidelines preventing a quick counterattack.

Red Cards: None, as per usual.

Mike D’s aka No Shows: Jens the day before hurt his groin “running”, and the late scramble wasn’t enough to bring more players in

Conboy’s aka Reverse Mike D’s: None

”Mr. Glass” Fragility/Old Man Injury Award: Nizam went down with an ominous calf injury with no contact, a recurring injury that promised a long spell on the sidelines.  Telly Vamvouris also hurt himself under no contact resulting in a fateful keeper switch.

Old Man of the Match:  None based on the wretched overall performance and the ease that the 11 man Barnstonworth were able to carve through the team again and again

Old Man of the Bar: Relatively quick day at the bar given the evening’s Red Bulls game, so none.

El Presidente (new award for Old Men who don’t make it to game but come to the bar): None

Statistic of the week: D’Andrea joins Pritchard atop of the all time assists table with 12.

Team Bar Showing: 6 out of 17 (35%)

Team Bar Night: 3.5 out of 5. The bar appearance itself was not noteworthy, but an extra point for the later shenanigans at the Red Bulls game.

Team (No new profiles this week): Telly Vamvouris (GK), Drew Faherty (DF), Ollie Roberts (DF), Steve “Threesdale” Teesdale (DF), Paulo ‘Grigio’ Vale (DF), Tom Accordino, Tony Vamvouris, Tom Pattinson, John Hodges, Steve Morse, Manohar Venkataraman, Willian D’Andrea, Hakan Nizam

After last week’s brutally physical contest CPR were hoping for a gentler respite against a team with only 1 point all season.  Their previous game against Doxa had rendered a wretched performance despite the overwhelming scoreline of 5-1.  With a full 17 available the Legends wanted to match a good performance with a great scoreline.  They certainly started like they wanted to get back to winning ways with strong attacking intent, but a combination of poor finishing and a whistle happy referee prevented the breakthrough from arriving.  When the referee should have blown his whistle he swallowed it, most notably on an egregious foul on Venkataraman that inexplicably did not result in a penalty.  The Legends were having a hard time with so much time and space on the ball that they didn’t know what to do with it, frequently picking the wrong choice or aimlessly crossing the ball in causing minimal danger.  At the other end Telly was summoned to provide  a couple of smart saves, but for the most part the danger was all one sided

A polite explanation that attackers were supposed to be given the benefit of the doubt regarding offsides was provided at half time with the hope that the referee would be more forgiving of close calls.  Indeed, the chat appeared to have paid dividends when another rough foul in the box was suitably called for a penalty this time, with Mckeown putting it away with aplomb.  The Legends continued to pile the pressure on, this time with a lofted goal from distance by Mckeown.  Soon after a rampaging run from centerback Paul Vale forced a save right in the path of Mckeown to complete a hattrick.

As the scoreline rose to match the chances, the Doxa players grew increasingly frustrated and started taking it out on the Legends.  Mckeown was raked down the back of his leg and had to be carried off while Venkataraman was elbowed in the ribs off the ball and also had to retire for the day (from the field, obviously not from the pub).  Some of the more physical Legends gave them a taste of their own medicine, and like all bullies a shoulder to shoulder barge that didn’t even result in a foul caused squealing from the Doxa sidelines.

	As the physical play was ratcheted up by Doxa CPR matched them causing one Doxa clown on the sideline to unleash a nonstop verbal stream of diarrhea littered with ludicrous death threats

The Legends not only were unable to build on their goal foundation but let one in at the other end, a long ball resulting in the Doxa player outrunning two defenders and putting the ball away.  Another win against Doxa, but another one that felt unfulfilling despite the season scoreline of 8-2.  Hopefully CPR can provide a better performance against one time club rivals the resurgent Barnstonworth.

Competition: Doxa FC Legends, League Opposition

Location: Randall’s Island Field #72, Randall’s Island

Conditions: Lovely spring morning 

Fans: 0, None

Result: 3-1

Goals: 1-0: Mckeown (pen)

2-0: Mckeown

3-0: Mckeown Assist Vale

Yellow Cards: None, a welcome return to normal programming.

Red Cards: None, as per usual.

Mike D’s aka No Shows: None

Conboy’s aka Reverse Mike D’s: None

”Mr. Glass” Fragility/Old Man Injury Award: As the frustrated Doxas turned ugly, Mckeown had the back of his leg viciously raked and had to be carried off the pitch.  As Venkataraman was shielding the ball the defensive Doxa through some vicious elbows into his ribs, ending his day too.

Old Man of the Match:  When you score a hat-trick in a 3-1 win, its hard not to get the award despite the no show at the bar.  Mckeown gets the award but the OMoM Chalice was unused as it has been all spring.

Old Man of the Bar: Threesdale as christened by Pattinson apparently caught tapeworms from his dog Dewey as he proceeded to put away a truly astonishing amount of food, 3 breakfasts creating a new nickname for him.

	Teesdale attempted to match Mckeown’s hat-trick on the field with one at the bar, an astonishing breakfast, second breakfast and Elevenses consumed

El Presidente (new award for Old Men who don’t make it to game but come to the bar): None

Statistic of the week: With this week’s hattrick Mckeown has set the single season record for goals scored, the first one to hit double digits with 10.  Next on the agenda is the all time points record of 28 set by Resnik in 2013-2014 helped by 10 Defensive shutouts.  Mckeown is currently on 21 points.   

Team Bar Showing: 7 out of 17 (41%)

Team Bar Night: 3 out of 5. A decent amount of longevity at the bar with a good variety of sporting events to keep people occupied.

Team (No new profiles this week): Telly Vamvouris (GK), Mark Resnik (DF), Drew Faherty (DF), Pete Hahn (DF), Eduardo Mazzi (DF), Ollie Roberts (DF), Steve “Threesdale” Teesdale (DF), Paulo ‘Grigio’ Vale (DF), Tony Vamvouris, Tom Pattinson, Ugo Solinas, John Hodges, Simon Mckeown, Manohar Venkataraman, Willian D’Andrea, Hakan Nizam, Manuel Casanova

	Once again, El Presidente managed to take a bunch of pictures of various teammates, new and old.

Finally the Legends had managed to gather a decent sized squad after scrambling to gather enough players for the previous few weeks.  The day turned out to be far nicer than expected and the journey wasn’t particularly arduous.  Initial optimism soon waned as shockingly the parks department had screwed up, meaning kickoff was increasingly and rapidly delayed.  To no surprise the referees in the game before had a sloth-like lack of urgency which meant the game kicked off fully an hour late.  Naturally there was concern from the married folks regarding the extra hour but the squad looked large enough to be able to handle a few defections, but none of it was optimal preparation.

The game started cautiously with probing by both sides on the large pitch.  What looked like a potentially absorbing match however was irretrievably changed within 15 minutes.  After Belizan overran a ball in the attacking end a vicious push long after the end of play sent him head long into a fence.  There was immediate retaliation as both players started wrestling with each other, but fortunately cooler heads prevailed on both sides.  Unfortunately this did not extend to the referee who made the bewildering decision to merely book the instigator but send Belizan off for the wrestling that both players were a part of.  Naturally not only was the entire game changed, but the prospect of playing a solid Shamrock side on a big pitch for almost an entire game was going to be all uphill.  The task was made even harder when a mistake on a routine free kick allowed the Shamrock player to head in from point blank range.

	Solinas & the Legends wondered what would have to happen before they got a free kick, meanwhile legions of CPR were being booked for seemingly getting kicked from behind

The Queens based team would already be a difficult enough opponent without the increasingly odd decisions by the referee.  The Legends received an additional 3 bookings in the first half, most of them appeared to be as a result of getting incessantly fouled.  As Shamrock perceived that physical contact was not going to be called the game got rougher, much to the detriment of the flow of the game.  Solinas in particular was getting constantly mugged as a result of blowing past players but barely a whistle was blown, much to CPR’s consternation.  At half time the Legends were still stewing about the one sided nature of the officiating, but tried to make what adjustments they could knowing they needed to avoid defeat.  Early in the second half the Legends broke through, a long run by Vale driving the ball along the ground where Mckeown took advantage of a defensive lapse to nip and score the equalizer.  Indeed CPR had the upper hand for a while, but the toll of all the running even with substitutes was too much.  A second goal for Shamrock was a result of a second mistake at the back, gifts that the Legends simply could not afford to provide.  Shamrock did score the only mistake free goal of the game, a fine strike from outside the box off the post, but the Legends could not turn scrambles in the box into genuine chances.

The tragedy of the game was that despite being a physical side Shamrock were well organized and had some talented players, and the cheap shots and dirty play by some of their numbers was beneath them.  What could have been an absorbing and tight game was ruined by a combination of a dirty play and an overwhelmed referee making a poor choice.  CPR will have to regroup and make sure they get back to winning ways next week.

Competition: Shamrocks, League Opposition

Location: St. Michael’s Playground, Queens

Conditions: Glorious spring day

Fans: 1, Mrs Telly

Result: 1-3

Goals: 1-1: Mckeown Assist Vale

Yellow Cards: Pattinson, Telly Vamvouris and Steve Roberts all received their first bookings of the season. In fact, for Pattinson & Telly it was their first yellow cards EVER for the Legends.  All in the first half.  Curious.

Red Cards: As Belizan overran the ball past the touch line and towards the cement & fence the thuggish Shamrocks player gave him a dangerous cynical shove, narrowly averting what could have been a serious injury.  The red mist fell, and both players proceeded into headlocks.  What followed was the most bizarre of refereeing decisions, merely booking the instigator while sending off Belizan.  Whatever action was going to be taken it should have been even at the least.  Sending off arguably the Legends best player after 15 minutes created a mountain that the Legends couldn’t scale.  And was merely the most egregious of many curious refereeing decisions during the game.

Mike D’s aka No Shows: Nizam saw the large squad assembled and at the last moment decided he was not needed.

Conboy’s aka Reverse Mike D’s: None

”Mr. Glass” Fragility/Old Man Injury Award: Vale suffered a thigh strain, and fortunately Belizan did not sustain any serious injuries after the shove into the fence.

Old Man of the Match:  Tier One wasn’t really in the mood to discuss Old Man of the Match.  One player it definitely wasn’t was Jordan Spieth.

Old Man of the Bar: None.

El Presidente (new award for Old Men who don’t make it to game but come to the bar): None

Statistic of the week: The sheer volume of bookings compared to a normal game speak for themselves, in comparison with the number of bookings Shamrock received (one).  Overall goal differential is now the worst in Legends history after the last string of games.  Although the Legends consistently manage to score (streak now at 20), one goal has not proved to be enough.

Team Bar Showing: Tier 1 out of 17 (17%)

Team Bar Night: 2.5 out of 5. Tier 1 managed to rescue what looked like a bare minimum visit after Jordan Spieth’s quadruple bogie gave them a second wind.

Team (No new profiles this week): Telly Vamvouris (GK), Mark Resnik (DF), Drew Faherty (DF), Pete Hahn (DF), Luciano Belizan (DF), Ollie Roberts (DF), Steve Teesdale (DF), Jan Carlson (DF), Steve Roberts (DF), Paulo ‘Grigio’ Vale (DF), Tony Vamvouris, Tom Pattinson, Ugo Solinas, John Hodges, Simon Mckeown, Manohar Venkataraman, Willian D’Andrea