The Old Boys traveled north
on Sunday evening, beyond the wall and into wildling territory. As they lined up against their opponents, the pale skin and piercing blue eyes shone from across the playing field. White Walkers?! No! Landsdowne Bhoys. Whale oil beef hooked. And they were about to be put to the sword.
(Sorry Clarky, I honestly couldn’t help myself. And it does get worse…)
The opposition
In this strangest of locations the abstract was further enhanced by the fact that Dolph Lundgren had turned up to referee! A daunting figure already, it quickly transpired that Dolph had picked up quite the obscene dialect since his career transition to refereeing, and was not shy in dishing out the profanities. Old Boys started with a strong pace and both teams were testing out each others defense with a series of long balls aimed at the back line. Levy had a shot come back off the bar, whilst Sawyer should have opened the scoring with a header at far back post. The scoring was finally opened with a deft header at the back post from Brindley, after a perfectly weighted cross from Levy. Against the run of play, Dolph then awarded a dubious penalty for a handball against Hollins. With the penalty tucked away at 1-1, Holladonna then struck again with another deft caress of the ball. It had been a while mate, don’t worry. The Old Boys went in at the break 2-1 down after the home team scored before the break in only their second attempt at goal. A rousing halftime team talk and the second half was one-way traffic. Engler finally arrived after being delayed at Craster’s Keep, and added a new dynamic to the right wing with pressure building on the home team.
Amongst a number of corners, the elbow-to-face-count was at an all time high when Sebastian jumped clear of all bodies to head Lalo’s corner firmly past the goalkeeper and into the back of the net to make it 2-2. Shortly after, Engler’s good work down the right prevailed. Another corner was shortly cleared, only to find its way to Steve Morse at 35 yards out. Like Figo in his prime, Morse sent a dipping half volley over 15 players and the goalkeeper and into the back of the net. Cue the mobbing from his 10 team mates.
Finely poised at 3-2, Edmunds was doing his best to irritate the opposition from the sidelines, and with players picking up injuries, a fascinating debate was struck up between Mark and Paul as to who was ‘more unfit’ and therefore less likely to be called upon if needed. To digress – a half-fit Paul Clark may still be the fittest player on the team, whilst a half-fit Edmunds may be considered ‘in his prime’ by some.
Dolph was having a mixed game at this stage. The opposing manager, who claiming he’d missed three blatant fouls, came marching onto the field to stress… “Tree times Ref, Tree times!!!”. Although in Dolphs defense, the accusations of foul play were coming as regular as rain on the emerald isle.
(I did warn you all…)
With ten minutes to go, Seb had a shot blocked before turning on the style and curling one in under the side of the crossbar from 20 yards. The Old Boys were now firmly in control. The Landsowne Bhoys keeper made a number of good saves and the Old Boys defense had perhaps its best game of the season to see out the game. Pablo commanding his line well, with One Eye, Brindley, Andy, and Morse not only providing half the goals, but keeping the tide at bay. The tide couldn’t be kept at bay in Brindley’s car on the way home unfortunately, as all passengers were provided the full narrative of the opening goal in imaginatively recounted detail. I’m sure this recollection will still be available upon request at the Kentucky Derby Party this weekend. I myself am now word perfect.
The evening ended with a few pints a Mad River and a ‘top of the table’ toast.
Viva Old Boys.
David Sawyer
