(written by Meridyth Park)

What should've been a win for the Women's Red (having scored first), turned out to be an"Ugh, we're tied"... to "Shit, we're losing"... to "Thank god we pulled out a draw!" type of game.

This match reporter is too lazy and can't be bothered with all the details against Vendaval, so here are the highlights:

- The ref sucked... but at least he was consistent for both teams with his sucky-ness. Even pre-game flirting didn't seem to help.

- Some time in the 1st half... Off a cross from someone, Nabb boobed the ball down within the Vendaval 6-yard box... and after a couple of pinball back & forth between the Reds and Vendaval, Nabb found herself with the ball again, took a quick turn and shot the ball into back of the net, passed a stunned goalkeeper. Score 1-0 Reds.

- 2nd half: This is when it started getting scary... the Reds backline attempted to execute the offside trap. Unfortunately, the sucky ref failed to call it in our favor. The Vendaval forwards sprinted down the field with the Reds trying desperately to catch up with them. Becca came out of her box and tried to beat them to the ball, but her speed was no match for their head start. Jess made a valiant attempt having caught up with them, but being 3 vs 1 within the box, the 1-1 score was inevitable.

- With 10 minutes left to play, the Reds continued to pressure... but a long ball to one of the Vendaval strikers had Meridyth racing down the line to get to it before the other team. Luckily, Lank reached the ball first... so MP attempted to slow down the speedy Vendaval striker by getting in her path, only to find herself eating turf from a 2-handed shove to the ground. Stunned by the blatant foul, Lank waited for the whistle from the ref, which never came. Instead, the striker stole the ball, which caused Lank to grab hold of the opponent's shirt with such ferocity that she forced the player to the ground... resulting in a yellow card for the Reds' sweeper, who basically mandated to the ref that she not receive a red instead. This wrongful turn of events led to a free kick for Vendaval, making the score 2-1.

- Seriously annoyed and frustrated, the Reds were eager for an equalizing goal, which they got with only 1.5 minutes left in the game... from a corner kick, Lank's immense skill and talent resonated so much from her body, that she willed the ball into the net without even touching it... ensuring a draw and a point.

Also titled "Shoot. Score. Win."
Or, "In which Becca wears two of the same socks."

(written by Silvie Snow-Thomas)

On a chilly, windy Spring Sunday afternoon at East 6th, Women's Red shot, they scored and hell yeah, they won. With this new motto and finely tuned game plan, the Red ladies stole the magic from the clearly ill-named team and marched on to a stellar one-nil victory – not totally decisive, yet not by the skin of their teeth either.

With the lack of proper clothing and warmth as the wind came off the water (lead in way-under dressed flip-flop style by fearless captain Jenny Lankford) it was no problem for the quick, spritely Red’s (on this day and for many to come!) to run the NY Magic into the ground. Using a system of ‘run so hard and fast you feel like you’re going to puke, and then come out for a quick breather’ subbing system, the aging Magic forwards and solid (?), hefty (?) central midfielder and sweeper were winded once and for all shortly into the second half.

Ping, ping, pong was the name of the game for the better part of the first half as NY Magic's strategy was pass back to said hefty center mid or sweep and bomb the ball (quite accurately we’ll give ‘em that) down the right corner, facilitated by the wind, which sprung them loose for a few dangerous changes. They also liked to get in the way of the lovely little triangle combinations being developed by the Red’s who worked for each other off the ball arguably like never before.

And, just before half time, all that smart running paid off! One pass from the backfield led to another up the left sideline (please forgive this first-time match reporter as she has no idea who all of these passes were strung together by) to another into the middle to a checking Tanya Kalivas who turned her defender and deftly chipped the goalie with a sweet shot coming in just under the cross bar. The congrats were plentiful, highlighted by Kelly Sosa’s two footed leap and double fist-pump high five into the air as she exclaimed, “We scored!” Second only to, the halftime comment (Caitlin Carey was this you?), “Holy sh** we’re winning.”

And, so Women’s Red did just that. Held on through a second half in which Shawnda Grady almost beat down an overly scrappy obnoxious member of NY Magic; Lank, Sosa, Meridyth Park, Haley Sennott, and the rest of the backline thwarted a few potential breakaways and were awarded a nice potential breakaway offsides call for their trouble; the forwards and midfielders had a few very pretty almost-chances, and GK Becca Giefer yelled back just as much at NY Magic's extremely boisterous (putting it politely) coach, who seemed to have mistaken himself to be the manager of Real Madrid.

In sum, some Key learnings:
- Becca Giefer must always wear two of the same socks. Yes, we know this may be potentially damaging to everything we currently know and love about our kool keeper, but the two white with black stripes Adidas worked on this day. Superstition people; go with me. Okay, maybe she can wear one up and one down to still rock the style icon steeze.
- Carey and Sennott must always have their men at the game. Caitlin did not get hurt (right?), much to her mother’s pleasure we’re sure, even with him there, and Haley dipsy-dooed a few of her defenders, definitely ,megging at least one. Maybe next time they’ll bring pom poms. We also like signs and oranges at halftime. Lank, Shawnda, everyone else – where are your beaus??
- Flirting with the ref, just a wee little bit at the beginning of the game, never did any harm.
- Shoot.
- Score.
- Win. (Typed Sin in their by accident at first and almost left it, cause, heck, why not.)
- Women’s Red needs another win next week so the team can actually go to the bar to celebrate its victory with the whole club!

CPR Women's Reds are on winter break and our "Best Week Ever" will be retiring. But watch this space in mid-March 2007 for all new fun to tickle your fancy.

In the meanwhile, feel free to check out a few of the women on Pier 40 Mondays nights in the Winter Warriors co-ed league. We'll be wearing Carolina blue. www.metrosoccerny.com

Who had the Best Week Ever?

- CPR Women Reds drew 0-0 with FCNY. CPR kept their composure throughout the whole game, but unfortunately, could not finish. Luckily, FCNY couldn't finish either... but they did give CPR quite a scare in the last 3 minutes of the game. Supposedly Lank, rumor has it, b*tch slapped a girl in the box for saying her hair looked like a Peppermint Patty wig, which resulted in a PK for FCNY. As CPR stood on edge of the box with their hearts beating through their Bounce-scented jerseys, the FCNY player took a few steps and struck the ball straight into the waiting hands of the CPR Keeper (yay Becca!). A sigh of relief escaped from the mouths of CPR... or for some a fume of alcohol, no doubt from a drunken night before. CPR held on and gained 1 pt, helping the team climb its way out from the bottom of the league standings.

- Ines celebrated her birthday this Sunday, playing in her debut CPR game! Happy Birthday!!!

- Ali E, unfortunately, is out for the fall with a torn calf muscle. She hadn't stretched her muscles properly before she took the stage for her Burlesque/Pole Extravaganza routine.

- Jess was in Chapel Hill, NC this past weekend reliving her sorority/college days, pretending she was a mere 18 yr old lass... or that's what she told Tyler Hansbrough, the sophomore UNC basketball phenom, who was found in her hotel room at 4am, along with a few other choice basketball studs. Becker, her boyfriend, could not be reached for comments.

- Meridyth traveled to Stockholm, where she was wined and dined by the Nordic God of Thunder. Rumors of any viking ravaging could not be confirmed when this blog was posted.

Tough call... but both Jess and Meridyth had the Best Week Ever, based purely on supposition! ;)

Who had the Best Week Ever (Special Edition - Battle of the CPR Coaches)?

This past Sunday's game against the Sirens became a battle between the two CPR coaches, Benedict Marsillo (Sirens) and Justin Tropea (CPR Red).

On one hell of a windy day, the two teams came together on Sunday and found themselves staking out their territory only a few feet from one another. But, Tropea remained strong and Marsillo was forced to relocate the Sirens for the pre-game talk. [Tropea 1, Marsillo 0]

The first 15 minutes of the game proved to be a tough fight for CPR, as the team struggled to find their groove with the Sirens' "come out swinging" approach. [Tropea 1, Marsillo 1] But with great tenacity from the defense and Becca in goal, CPR managed to shutdown Sirens' futile attempts to score. [Tropea 2, Marsillo 1] With sweeper Lank and back-ups - Nabb, Farkas and Lauren - unable to attend, sweeper Catherine (aka Gump) from the White team proved herself to be a very welcomed addition to the Red's defense.

The rest of the 1st half saw a turn in CPR's favor. After some great connecting passes, forward motion and shots on goal, the team soon found the momentum to get on the attack. Luckily for the Sirens, the half-time whistle blew before CPR’s efforts materialized into a goal. With the high winds, the smarter team (aka CPR) took shelter behind the Parks Dept building to hold their half-time discussion. [Tropea 3, Marsillo 1]

In the 2nd half, both teams came out strong, but CPR came out stronger. Caitlin, having just returned from a marathon, and Tanya took control in the middle and continued to pressure the Sirens’ defense. It was this control that led to much more action in the Sirens’ box than the 1st half… and ultimately resulted in Jamie Silver’s signature goal in the 65th min. [Tropea 4, Marsillo 1]

But of course, one goal wasn’t enough for CPR. 10 minutes later, Caitlin fended off a defender and found an unmarked Betsy right in front of the net. As the ball sailed across the box to Betsy’s feet, the field was silent except the gasps of “Noooooooo!” from the lips of Marsillo and the Sirens. And a highly focused Betsy effortlessly tapped the ball in for CPR’s 2nd goal. [Tropea 5, Marsillo 1]

Sirens had a few chances on goal, some too close for CPR’s comfort, but Becca’s quick reflexes and Gumby-like reach kept the Sirens disappointed.

With only 10 minutes left in the game, Meridyth fell injured with a cramp. And chivalrous Coach Tropea carried her off the field in true gentleman-like style. [Tropea 6, Marsillo 1]

Sirens capitalized on CPR trying to reorganize their defense and began to attack harder than was seen throughout the rest of the game. After a bit of fumbling and chaos in the box, Sirens luckily tipped the ball out of Becca’s grasp and into the goal. [Tropea 6, Marsillo 2]

But CPR was resolved to hold onto the 2-1 lead and so it was to be. Their determination for a victory lasted until the final whistle blew and CPR Reds finally earned 3 points in the League Standings.

In the battle between the CPR Coaches, Justin Tropea and Benedict Marsillo, Justin had the Best Week Ever!

*** Special Thanks to Jim Grandinetti, who not only supported the Women Whites 9am game, but also came back for the Reds 3pm game and was an inspiring voice from the sidelines!

Highlights of the game:
-- Normally a very genteel, calm and composed soccer player, the sideline erupted into “Oh no she didn’t!” uproar when Caitlin matter-of-factly shoo-ed away a Siren’s mid-fielder in a “can’t be bothered with you" manner just before taking a free kick.
-- Deb received a yellow card for making a face!

Who had the Best Week Ever?

- After a serious bout of tendonitis only weeks before the Chicago marathon, Caitlin managed to finish the race at a very impressive pace of 12-min/mile! Rumor has it that she spilled oil on the ground at the finish line, causing the winner to fall and be sent to the emergency room for internal/external bleeding. CPR Women's Red fully stands by her innocence and vehemently denys such gross allegations.

- Away for the weekend, Eileen was actually spotted at a rehabilitation clinic being treated for OCCS - Obsessive, Compulsive Cursing Syndrome.

- CPR Women's Red lost to NYAC 4-1. The Reds took an early lead with another corner of the box strike from Jamie. Unfortunately, the lead did not last long... 10 minutes later, NYAC countered and put a goal on the scoreboard. Tied at the half, CPR was determined to push forward and stay focused. However, NYAC's speed, young legs and top-of-the-league skill gave them 3 more goals in the 2nd half for the win. Although it meant yet another loss for CPR, the team was proud in having fought a good fight.

- While in Mexico, Ali E was rumored to have been nude sunbathing (no tan lines!) while being adored with free cocktails and palm tree fanning from the local adonis.

That's why Ali E had the Best Week Ever!

Who had the Best Week Ever?

- Nabb got a new job within MTV. She's now the new host of TRL!!! Or maybe it's in New Business Development. Eh, same thing.

- Coming on from a sprained ankle, Ali Hart rejoined the team for this past Sunday's State Cup game against FCNY. The ref was gracious enough to allow her to play with crutches as she expertly dribbled the ball up the field and made effortless crosses with her left crutch into the box. However, the crutches were forced to the sidelines in the 2nd half, as too many calls were made against Ali for "accidental" tripping and whacking across the shins.

- Jamie's tailbone was bruised prior to the start of the game on Sunday. From an off-the-record conversation with her husband Scott, the bruising did not occur from soccer as originally proclaimed by the Reds striker. As to the real reason, he would not say... but did offer a mischievous grin and a locker room nod to his soon-to-be brother-in-law.

- CPR Women's Red experienced their first win this season! Although the State Cup 2-1 win didn't really help with League standings, the team was ecstatic all the same. The first goal came in the 1st half from a beautiful corner kick from Jamie... while the second goal, also from Jamie, was just as beautiful a strike from the corner of the box. But it wasn't just the scoring that lifted the spirits of the team. There was solid communication (including inquiries to sports bra choices to deter headlights) and passes to feet, which created the offensive momentum needed to dominate. And much kudos to Jess and Christine, who played in goal, for an excellent job keeping FCNY's goals to only 1, along with a determined defense. And a high-5 to Deb for superb post duty, keeping a corner kick from equalizing the game. It was a fun game to play... and hopefully a sign for future League points.

That's why the whole team had the Best Week Ever!

Who had the Best Week Ever?

- Lank, MVP three years in a row and the team's defensive rock, was finally able to make her season debut. Having missed the first three games, there were rumors of a secret elopement and honeymoon in Vegas, while dressed as a showgirl and Mr. Jones as a flying Elvis. But the absence of an Eiffel Tower shaped diamond at the game proved the rumors to be quite false.

- The Women's Red had a shocking THREE subs this past Sunday, which was quite the treat! Although the team continued their losing streak against NY Magic Reserves (L, 2-0), it was the first time this season that the team looked as if they were playing like a team. Hopefully, this is a sign of some wins to come.

- It was reported that Ali Hart's sprained ankle at the beginning of the season was actually due to an unfortunate incident involving her boyfriend, a typewriter and a thimble. Hmmm... However, the team was able to confirm that she is able to run, which is proof that she is on her way to a full recovery.

- The red-headed bombshell Platt rejoined the CPR Women's Red team. After much pleading and promises of free pints of Kronenbourg and lap dances from the team (mostly from the bewildering hips of Lank and Jess), she ecstatically accepted and joined the team on the pitch and at the bar this past Sunday.

That's why Platt had the Best Week Ever!

Who had the Best Week Ever?

Hmmm... tough one. Safe answer is no one. As for the game, CPR Women's Red lost to Slackers. We don't want to talk about it. Enough said.

But we foresee good stuff happening this Sunday against NY Magic Reserves... and Lank finally returns!!!

Who had the Best Week Ever?

- CPR Women's Red suffered from another loss this past Sunday against Vendaval. Having 4 subs was a treat for the team after last week's lack of numbers. However... Although historically CPR has had more wins than losses against match-ups with Vendaval, the Reds found themselves unprepared against a re-vamped and younger oppononent. Jamie Silver had a World Cup worthy goal from the corner of the 18-yd box in the second half. But unfortunately, that was the only goal CPR would see, while Vendaval saw 5 of their shots go into the back of the net.

- Christine was a bit hungover on Sunday, which was a testament to a highly successful bachelorette party weekened in the Catskills.

That's why Christine had the Best Week Ever!